Dance to a different beat

How changing my dance from the hustle to another dance

will help me avoid experiencing burnout again

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Do the Hustle

Hustle has been my dance for so long now that I have forgotten there are other dances. I have experienced burnout several times in the last 30 years and it’s not pretty! At it’s worse, I lost all interest in life, I was on auto-pilot, doing what I had to at work and then collapsing at home. Weekends spent in bed. Even watching TV seemed too hard at times. Having no love for our life is not how we are meant to live and I don’t want to go there again.

3 years ago I left my legal career with no plan of what to do next. We had work done on our house and just a few weeks later in March 2020 the UK went into lockdown. I panicked for a little while about how I was going to get a job and in the end I took the plunge and decided to give my own business a go. I had always been employed, or self-employed with guaranteed work, until then. But I had this yearning to do it my own way, to work to my schedule and to work according to my values and not others. In essence I was sick of working really hard (if I’m in, I’m in) to help make rich people richer at what always seemed like the expense of the employees.

There is nothing like starting your own business to trigger all your insecurities. Boy did I find it hard. 3 years of therapy had helped me so much but I still had a lot to learn about myself. I still do and that’s why one of my favourite sayings is “Every day is a school day”. I threw myself into every affordable (i.e. cheap) workshop, seminar, challenge, etc. I learned about the basics of branding, marketing, website design, strategy. I read books and articles, I listened to podcasts. You name it, I tried it. I didn’t put all of it into action, I found it overwhelming at times, but I learned a lot and what I learned the most was that there was so much to learn.

It was exhausting but as usual I ploughed on. I kept thinking that the next thing I did would be the answer. Part of the problem was most of the time I didn’t know which question I was trying to answer. I had many false starts, copy redrafting, tearing my hair out moments. I had some wins along the way which kept me going. I got to work with some great clients and see how I helped them which gave me the momentum to keep going. I know I can help people because I really “see” people and I intuitively know things about them, but how to get that across and how to get clients is a whole different ball game that I wasn’t prepared for.

Reset

In January this year (2022), I had double cataract surgery on my eyes followed by a dose of Covid -19. I recovered from both reasonably quickly but energetically it took me a while to get back at it. Within a matter of weeks, I was feeling that niggle of overwhelm and I made a decision to back off. I worked with my existing clients but I took some time to regroup. I realised that I had gone straight back to the Hustle. It’s such a familiar place to me and frankly I didn’t know how else to do it. Head down, work hard, push through. I know that. Sit back, relax, use your intuition and let it come to you. How can that be a way to work? Turns out it is. Well, many people tell me it is now that I am seeking out a different way. This is still very much a work in progress but it feels much better than the Hustle.

I have tried the Quick-Step approach; slow, slow, quick, quick, slow. Meh. Not for me. Too much quick it seems.

I have tried the Foxtrot, which looks like an effortless glide whereas in reality it’s hard work. Not that one either and not just because I don’t do graceful.

The Rumba; pull towards, push away. Nope.

I have been left with the question, what dance do I do now I no longer do the Hustle? I’m working on it and, limited to my knowledge of dance from Strictly Come Dancing, so far I’ve come up with:

· Mainly a Waltz — a steady rhythm of 1–2–3, 1–2–3, 1–2–3

· A good dose of Salsa — energetic and fun, good for celebrations

· And for the moments that need it, a Paso Doble — feisty and dramatic

I am going to miss the Hustle because it’s familiar. New things are uncomfortable but I will learn to love my new dances and I am sure they will serve me better than the Hustle.

If you want to reset your dance with stress overwhelm and burnout and feel like some support would be good, let’s have a chat to see if I can help. Click the button below to arrange a call.