Morning Routine

How it helps keep my nervous system regulated

Photo by Emma Simpson on Unsplash

Do you have a morning routine? It’s a relatively new thing for me. It’s really only in the last 12 months or so that I’ve been taking it seriously. It has really been the next piece in my healing after discovering the benefits of calming my nervous system.

As I learned more about my behaviour patterns that stemmed from childhood and how the trauma I experienced meant my nervous system was pretty shattered, I came to understand that I was very close to a trauma response a lot of the time. I was well and truly frazzled (not a crispy bacon snack but the nerves shot to pieces type of thing). I learned to slow down, breathe and literally smell the coffee.

Busyness

Busyness had been my constant state. I prided myself on my ability to multi-task and get shit done. I was oblivious to the fact that the busyness stopped me being in the moment, being still and feeling. It was my intuitive way of avoiding all the painful things I now know I needed to face and feel. Slowing down took time. It was really uncomfortable but I knew I had to do something different as life could not carry on the way it had been. I had nothing to lose really. I would take an hour here and there to sit and read. I would stop fussing over everyone else and do what I wanted to do. That usually involved going out at first as I was incapable of slowing down in the house for quite a while. Gradually I realised no-one thought any less of me for the changes I was putting in place and actually I was a bit happier which benefitted everyone else. Interesting!

Breath

I read voraciously. Self-help books, blogs, articles. When I wasn’t reading I was listening to podcasts along the same lines. I consumed anything I could get my hands (and ears) on that I thought might help. That was how I came across people talking about breathing. I was amazed that people wrote and talked about something I thought I had nailed ( I was still alive so I reckoned I’d got the whole breathing thing sorted). I had a lot to learn. It turns out a lot of us, especially when in a trauma response, shallow breathe in our chest which is a sign to our body that we are experiencing trauma and this keeps us in that trauma response. It’s a vicious circle. I learned to breathe deep into my abdomen, long slow breaths in and longer breaths out. That signals to the body that it is safe and keeps us out of a trauma response. Wow. I was astounded that something seemingly so simple made such a difference. I took up yoga, not for exercise but to connect with my body, to breathe deeply and to move. To honour myself and my body in a way I’ve never done before. I also cut right back on alcohol and caffeine to help keep my nervous system regulated. All these things seemed to work a magic beyond anything I could have imagined.

Morning routine

From those changes came the morning routine. As I honoured what felt good for my body, I wanted to build those things into my life and the best way to make new habits is to anchor them to another habit. So I get up every morning (I know, amazing eh!) and instead of getting straight in the shower I put on yoga gear. After the kids went to school I’d do a bit of yoga every day, then I’d have porridge for breakfast and after a shower I would light a candle and journal for about 30 minutes. This was such a slow start to the day and I found it easier to carry the ease that came from it into the rest of my day (well most days anyway!). As I work from home, I have the time and space to do that in the morning but I appreciate that not everyone is in that position. There is always something you can do to start your day off well. I now see it as a necessity. On the days I miss it as I have to get up and get going early, I really notice the difference and by mid afternoon I’m really flagging and becoming reactive.

Be Flexible

As time has passed, my routine has changed. I now get up earlier and do my yoga before the kids go to school. I don’t journal every day anymore but I do when I need to (and I know when I need to as I can feel it). I am still pretty much off alcohol and caffeine but never say never. Recently I read a piece by Julie Bjelland who runs a community for Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) and she said that it’s good for HSPs to start the day slowly to keep it calm. This made so much sense to me (as a HSP) after the trauma response work I’d done. I honour myself by allowing myself a slow start to the day as a default so that it is only occasionally I have to get up and get going straight away. I love my slow mornings, my morning routine and the calm it brings to me.

Over to You

What do your mornings look and feel like? Would you like them to be different? You might not have the time and space that I have but we can all make small changes. What small changes can you try to bring some calm to your mornings? Maybe an early walk (like the photo above) would be your thing?

I hope I have given you some inspiration and ideas. If you want some more ideas, let me know.

I’d love to hear what you feel about this. You can use the contact button above to message me, you can find me on Instagram @safeandsupported coaching and if you’d like to talk about working with me use the button below to set up a coffee chat on Zoom